Whether you're gay, straight, bi, trans, black, white, or purple, one thing most people can agree on is that relationships of all kinds are not always easy.
Even friendships can be hard to maintain over the years as people grow and change as individuals. It is never really a fun situation to encounter, but occasionally two people reach points in their lives where they branch off and eventually find themselves unable to relate to one another anymore.
I have encountered people in my life who have said they loved me as a friend, but couldn't be associated with me anymore because of my pro-gay and pro-cannabis lifestyle.
I am happy to say that since not associating with such people anymore, I've grown to be a well spoken, independent young woman with very little concern for other people's opinions of me. I know that I'm a good person with good intentions and anyone who thinks differently of me is an unnecessary negative force in my life.
On the flip side, I have a few very close friends who have been in my life for 10+ years and they are the ones who help keep me sane. If it weren't for each and every one of my friends over the years, I know I wouldn't be the person I am today. Friendships are important because at the end of the day, sometimes you just need a good, solid friend to vent with and share a few laughs.
However, romantic relationships are an entirely separate entity all together.
Some people are "relationship people", others are not. I can understand both sides of the coin. Relationships can lead to some rewarding and life changing moments as two people who love each other learn about one another and grow into a loving union. Some of the most fun, intimate, and passionate moments of my life were shared with people whom I have been in some sort of romantic relationship with.
For some, there is a calming sense of security that comes from being in a relationship. It feels good to be able to share one's joy with a person who genuinely cares about you and the things that make you happy.
Something that not everyone realizes upon committing to a relationship is that they are not always all fun and games.
Relationships actually require quite a bit of time, energy, and hard work. They require each person involved to put a certain amount of effort into keeping the other happy. More often than not, relationships entail some personal sacrifices on both ends. Obviously, before making any long term commitments, it is important to know what a significant other finds meaningful or important and be sure to incorporate those things into your life together.
The way I look at relationships is pretty simple. In my experiences, I've come to realize that a person can not truly love another person until they are comfortable and happy with themselves first. Yes, I do believe that a person can feel completed by their soul mate, but at the same time, I am well aware of how hard it can be to find that individual. I also feel that a level of self understanding must be reached before one can expect to understand someone else. As I mentioned before, some people find comfort in relationships, mainly because they enjoy the idea of being desired and admired by someone who they feel similarly about.
No one is perfect, that's for sure.
Maintaining a healthy relationship also means being able to deal with all of the negative aspects of a partner. This part gets tricky because as individuals, we can only control our own actions. People have different ideas of what's right and what's wrong, and a mutual level of agreement and/or expectations must be set to keep a relationship in order.
I personally choose to date very selectively.
I'm at a point in my life where I'm very focused on the things that I'm doing and I can not devote myself 100% to someone else's happiness at this time. I've been in relationships before, and I can say I'm honestly not surprised with the way they ended up because looking back, I can see aspects in MYSELF that would cause a relationship to be unsuccessful. I'm not saying that it was all my fault, because I have also been deeply hurt by others in the past, but with enough time and positive energy, the healing process is well under way.
Recently, I've taken my negative traits into consideration and actively try to keep a conscious mind about the consequences of my actions. I know I'm not perfect, but I have developed a significantly larger amount of love for myself over the past few years, and am pleased to say that I'm starting to become more open to the idea of dating and finding someone special.
Love is a tricky and sensitive subject for many.
My only hope is that people can start taking the feelings of others into consideration before taking any relationship to the next level. We're all human, we bleed when you cut us, bruise when you strike us, and cry when we feel hurt. Take the time to treat others the way you'd like to be treated. Be proud to be who you are. Give love at each possible moment, and it will be returned.
No comments:
Post a Comment