Coming out, also known as "coming out of the closet", is a figure of speech used by the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender community to describe when an individual voluntarily discloses his or her sexual identity. Coming out can be both a comforting and stressful event. It is about so much more than just proclaiming one's sexuality to the public.
Making the decision to come out doesn't happen over night. Many people don't realize that a large amount of time and thought go into it and for some, this may even be something they have struggled with their entire life.
Coming out is a process. It is an emotional, physical, and psychosocial journey on the road to personal identity.
When someone decides to come out, it is always for a good reason, but it isn't always an easy thing to do. With the staggering amount of discrimination we face in society, many LGBT individuals spend time battling feelings of fear and rejection before they are able to build up enough courage to acknowledge and eventually be proud of their sexuality.
"The Cass Identity Model was also the first theory to treat homosexuality as normal,"
No two coming out stories are exactly the same. Luckily, psychologists have designed theories to help both gay and straight people understand the process.
Dr. Vivienne Cass is an Australian psychologist whose research in the 1970's focused primarily on homosexuality and the different levels of acceptance surrounding homosexual identity. She has a Master's Degree in Psychology and worked as a clinical tutor at the Department of Psychology at the University of Western Australia and also worked as Consultant Psychologist at the Homosexual Counseling Service of Western Australia.
In the late 1970's, Dr. Cass designed the "Cass Identity Model", a six stage theory outlining the different stages of psychosocial, physical, and emotional acceptance experienced during the formation of a homosexual identity. Although the stages are outlined in a sequential manner, individuals may experience stages multiple times throughout a lifetime. This was the first model of its kind, and is now considered to be one of the fundamental theories of LGBT identity. The Cass Identity Model was also the first theory to treat homosexuality as normal, instead of viewing it as a problem experienced by a heterosexual world.
The basic theory is as follows:
"Identity Confusion – In this stage, individuals begin to wonder if they may be homosexual. They may consider the possibility, or reject it. If they choose to consider the possibility, they will move to the second stage.
Identity Comparison – Here, individuals may begin looking at others and comparing themselves to homosexuals and nonhomosexuals in the surrounding environment. At this point, individuals may make contact with another homosexual person.
Identity Tolerance – Individuals are becoming increasingly committed to the homosexual identity and may seek out more and more homosexual contacts. The self-image is still one of merely "tolerating" the homosexuality, rather than embracing it.
Identity Acceptance – At this point, a more positive view of homosexuality begins to develop. Individuals may feel they fit into the homosexual society. However, they will generally attempt to "pass" for heterosexual, and self-disclosure will be limited.
Identity Pride – Individuals in this stage characteristically feel a great deal of pride about their homosexuality. They will identify strongly with other homosexuals and feel anger at the way society treats homosexuals as a whole. They are often very conspicuous in their sexuality.
Identity Synthesis – Finally, the influence of positive nonhomosexuals helps individuals become aware that all heterosexuals are not bad. At this point, they may feel "settled in" to their identity, neither ashmed of it nor needing to "flaunt" it. (Cass, 1984)."
Taking into account that this model and theory have been around for nearly 30 years, it is still relevant.
Homosexuals have more rights today in society than ever before and we as a country are taking the necessary steps to instill equality into our everyday lives.
"Since starting Three Strange Women and working to promote positivity in and around the community,..."
LGBT individuals put a great deal of time and effort into being secure enough with their sexuality to go public with it. I can't even begin to stress how important it is for these people to have the love and support of friends and family during this period. Coming out should be a liberating, happy moment in celebration of an individual's identity. While I know that this is not always the case, we're making progress by raising awareness and educating those around us who otherwise might not have cared.
Since starting Three Strange Women and working to promote positivity in and around the community, I've had several close friends approach me privately to reveal their sexual identity.
The amount of love I have for these people has grown exponentially since. Not only has it brought us closer as friends, but it has also been an incredible experience as far as having a growing network of people who can relate to the way I, and so many others, feel. I am beyond honored to be someone that people can trust during such a life changing time.
I love you all so much, and I hope you continue to bask in the glory of being open about who you truly are.
If you or someone you know is considering coming out, please know that there are people and organizations here to help every step of the way! (And also know that you can ALWAYS talk to ME!)
-Jackie Soriano
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