Although the two often go hand in hand, there is a distinct difference between gender identity and sexual orientation. Gender identity typically refers to what is happening in relation to the physical body, where as orientation deals with who we are attracted to sexually.
Gender identity is how we identify on the male/female spectrum and how we'd like others to perceive us. Most people are born as either physically male or physically female (with some obvious exceptions). That being said, this is not always the case when it comes down to how the person identifies emotionally, as some people feel that their gender does not match their physical sex.
Gender identity affects a person's life in many, if not all areas on a daily basis. We use gender specific restrooms, have gender specific departments in stores, and have created gender specific fragrances. In many cases, gender even affects how we interact with each individual person we encounter in terms of behavioral expectations, roles at jobs or in households, and on many other levels. We have a tendency to place gender specific expectations on people based on their identity as male or female, men being stereo-typically strong and given the role as provider, and women being seen as stereo-typically sensitive or emotional and are expected to be caretakers.
From a young age, we are conditioned to accept our gender. Boys play with trucks and tools, girls play with dolls and tea sets. Many children don't often think about gender growing up because their gender matches their anatomy. However, in some cases, boys want to play with dolls and girls want to play with trucks. While it can be an extreme situation, this can sometimes be the first sign of a child's gender identity shifting (or a preview to the child's sexuality which is usually determined a little later in life). Some societies are very accepting of the fact that not everyone fits directly into the male and female categories and they acknowledge a third gender. Trans individuals have the tough job of dealing with issues of gender in society because they want to physically represent who they truly are on the inside.
Sexual orientation refers to who we are physically attracted to, and who we'd like to be romantically and/or sexually involved with. It can be further examined and explained as not only referring to the anatomy of who we are attracted to, but also the gender of who we are attracted to. The most prevalent factor in the distinction between gender identity and sexual orientation is that our sexual orientation doesn't directly affect the way we are treated by others because it is not always easily determined by physical appearance. Hence why we are referred to and greeted as "mister" or "miss", as opposed to "mister gay" or "miss lesbian" when out and about in the world.
As children, we don't generally think about sexual orientation, but as the elementary years progress, we eventually find ourselves developing emotional and physical attractions to our peers. This is right about when we start to realize our physical desires and whether or not we are attracted to members of the same or opposite sex. Although anatomy plays a large role in relationships, a person's outwardly expressed gender is what we tend to be attracted to before anything else.
Earlier I mentioned that some societies acknowledge and accept a third gender. On a much less encouraging note, other societies are so against homosexuality among their people that they will provide their citizens with a sex change operation instead of acknowledging the person's sexuality.
Now, in the case of someone who identifies as transgender, this would be a saving grace as far as presenting an opportunity for the individual to live as the person they'd like to be. However, this might not be a valid plan of attack in the first place. Not all of the individuals faced with this option identify as transgender. In fact, they might be comfortable with identifying as homosexual, in turn making this procedure detrimental to the person's well being. The thought that someone can be pressured into having a sex change operation in order to avoid the social stigma of identifying as homosexual is appalling.
In my personal findings, gender tends to be the focal point of interactions over sexual orientation on a day to day basis. The fact that gender identity and sexual orientation are two are completely separate entities explains why someone can be transgender and homosexual at the same time. Many transgender individuals initially come out as gay or lesbian before they have come to terms with their actual gender identity.
I have personally met MTF (male to female) trans women who are born with male parts, identify with the female gender, and who exclusively date women. Even though in society's eyes it may have been "easier" to "stay" a straight male, this person would most likely lead a very unhappy and potentially unfulfilled life.
On the other hand, a FTM (female to male) trans man might have once identified as a lesbian, but after exploring the field, may come to realize that he does not feel fulfilled by the way he is perceived in the eyes of his sexual partners and in the eyes of those around him. Living life as a lesbian might have been easier than the physical transition process as a whole because it is generally more accepted in society, but in all actuality this person was never a lesbian to begin with.
Gender identity and sexual orientation are individual concepts, but are not mutually exclusive because a person's gender directly factors into how they are understood orientation-wise. The two come together when we engage in sexual activity because sexual relationships are about both WHO we want to be intimate with and HOW we'd like to be perceived and treated in sexual situations.
Gender identity seems to be the more prominent issue. People deal with gender in every interaction, where as sexual orientation is of secondary nature. I believe that someone's gender influences their sexual orientation more so than the reverse scenario. Gender roles are never going to fade away, because we're generally conditioned as humans to be either male or female in character, with the exception of some cultures having a third gender. Many people feel chained to their gender because of the complications surrounding the transition process, whereas their sexuality is a much more free flowing entity, with the ability to be changed upon exploration.
I personally identify as a mostly homosexual, biological female. I (and many of those close to me) have come to notice that I have a lot of male characteristics as far as my personality and thinking patterns are concerned. I'm proud to say that I am 100% happy in my female body (besides once a month when I want to rip my uterus out) and with my somewhat male oriented way of thinking. I would never want a male body, and I would never want a solely female mind.
The conclusion I've come to is that gender isn't as fluid as sexual orientation, but the two definitely do influence each other. I think its all on the person as an individual. Many people are fully secure in their sexual orientation and gender identity. Others are simply not as secure and allow the ideas of others to influence their decisions.
All we have to do is be supportive of each individual's right to the pursuit of happiness. There are many people who fall into different categories along the spectrum and if we can accept others for who they are as humans, there is no need to judge them for the lifestyle they choose to live. I am a firm believer that each individual deserves the same amount of respect as any other.
Believe In Yourself
BE YOU
-Jackie Soriano
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