In Retrospect: The Loss of a King, The Dawning of a New Era, and Why I've Been So Crazy Lately.
On Sunday, October 6th, Boston's Cannabis Community and my "friendly-family" suffered the loss of a great man, a true king. Michael L. Malta also known as The King Of Pot & more commonly known as KOP passed away suddenly of a heart attack. Having been an activist for 10+ years, KOP was well know throughout the Boston cannabis community, and the cannabis community around the world.
The funeral services were beautiful and strangely unreal. Seeing the large community of people who showed up simply from knowing him through his hard work and activism was incredible. In all of the grief and sadness, it was wonderful to see how many people loved him. It was also a harsh reality check that seemed to have brought everyone and everything back around full circle. This situation seemed to mark the end of an era. The light of KOP's torch will shine on.
A true activist, he was extremely passionate about the effects marijuana had when coping with his extreme depression after the death of his mother. Most people turn to pharmaceutical remedies along with therapy to try to correct the chemical imbalances that cause depression. In KOP's case, and as in the case of many people, the pills made made him feel even worse than he did to begin with. Finally, his doctor then brought up the idea of participating in a study on the effects of cannabis when used to treat depression.
As someone who has also suffered greatly from depression, I understand the pain it can cause in someone's life and the hopeless and anxiety that can ensue. He said it himself, cannabis helped him control his anxiety, and over time there was a noticeable difference in the way he acted. The anxiety wasn't completely gone, but things were getting better at work, he was taking interest in his family again, and he was able to enjoy life. From ANYONE'S standpoint, all of these positive changes would seem to be enough evidence to prove that cannabis can have an extremely positive medicinal effect when treating some psychological conditions or chemical imbalances.
There are many famous cannabis-activist faces in Massachusetts and around the country, many have different views and opinions, but they all work for the same cause: LEGALIZATION. Pot smokers are not criminals. Good people enjoy the effects cannabis has on their lives, whether for fun/recreational purposes, to treat depression and other psychological issues, or as a way for a terminal cancer patient to be able to stomach a good meal.
*VIDEO: The Rise of The King of Pot*
*VIDEO: The Rise of The King of Pot*
Article: 20 Studies That Prove Cannabis Can Cure Cancer
Article: Is Medical Marijuana an Effective Treatment for Depression, Bipolar Disorders, Anxiety, and Similar Mood Disorders?http://medicalmarijuana.procon.org/view.answers.php?questionID=000226
Article: Marijuana: The next diabetes drug?
Article: Cannabis-Derived Drug Shows Promise in Treating Type 2 Diabetes
http://www.healthline.com/health-news/aging-cannabis-derived-drug-could-treat-type-2-diabetes-072313
KOP never intended to be a pot star and I believe that everyone knows it was not his goal, although his light shined brighter than most. Being hugely influenced by the work of Marc Emery, Michael and friends decided to create an avenue to become activists and spread their positive message. Thus, the King of Pot was born.
I was introduced to the scene in 2010, when I first met KOP, The Girls 4 Ganja crew, & the UNregular Radio boys. Little did I know, these interactions would change my life path from here on out.
Before I move on, something many people don't know about me:
As I mentioned briefly above, I, too suffer from anxiety and have worked through some serious depression. Depression knows no stereotypes, it can affect people of all races regardless of age or gender. As a teenager, I was suicidal. I was dealing with diabetes, depression, alopecia, bullying, and trying to figure out/understand my sexuality. Cutting became a release for me. In retrospect, I'm not ashamed, but more saddened that I felt so hopeless at such a young age. Naturally, "they" tried an array of fancy medications and more therapists than I can count on both hands, none of which helped because of the state of mind I was in and my unwillingness to change or see hope. I had a very serious awakening moment at age 19, and by age 21 everything changed for me. I made the decision to ween myself off of pharmaceutical treatments, and also to walk away from friends and a girlfriend who were using hard drugs.
This is where it all ties in... I felt like I had finally found a scene of like minded, open hearted people who shared similar goals to mine, and it seemed like a dream come true. Everyone has their own inner struggle and demons. I have the utmost respect for anyone who is able to overcome those inner struggles and spread their message of hope to others. The way that "The King of Pot" and KOP Productions became an outlet for Michael to spread his message is exactly what Three Strange Women is for me.
I entered the scene pretty abruptly, welcomed by most, but with my own little pieces of drama here and there. KOP was an individual who never judged. The first time I met him was at the 2010 Freedom Rally/High Times After Party at UNregular's Bedford St studio. Both him and Val opened their hearts and arms to me and I immediately fell in friend-love. I will always admire how friendly and welcoming and easy to talk with he was. He was a very down to earth, empathetic man, a truly loving and genuine soul who was able to touch the lives of so many people through his work. I'm blessed to be one of them.
In recent times, KOP helped me to make up my mind about a very important decision regarding Three Strange Women.
As most people know, I've been all but quiet about my struggles with the "change" at UNregular Radio back in April, and at the 2013 Freedom Rally it was an unavoidable topic of discussion with close friends, my conversation with Val being the first.
When Jillian made the decision to resign from her position as Music Director at the new studio and also to cancel Beats, Rhymes, and Life, I panicked. Things were far from easy after the "change", and upon seeing the toll the atmosphere was having on Jillian and myself in our last few weeks, her resignation was not a surprise. It was an eye opener. It was a clear indication that UNregular Radio was no longer the company we fell in love with. I don't regret staying with UR for a few months, I was determined to achieve my Boston Pride Parade goal and didn't see bailing as an option, plus, I had the support and camaraderie of Jillian to keep the UR "family" feeling slightly alive.
...It's a crazy and amazing feeling to have a platform of listeners and internet followers who all support the same cause. Through creating a brand & image, and using radio and social media as platforms, I've been able to watch my network grow and branch out in many directions, all very different, but each full of passion and a love for a cause. I've made an entire FAMILY through my experiences at UNregular @ Bedford St. & Three Strange Women. I will always be grateful for the lessons and professional standing UR instilled in me throughout the entirety of my time with them. I wish them well moving forward, but their atmosphere is not for me any longer.
I obviously explained all of this to KOP when I saw him at the rally, him being a professional in the scene whom I could trust and turn to for advice. I mentioned that I was no longer an employee of UR, by choice, and that I was planning to continue with my show until I found an alternative plan. Without hesitation he offered me a spot through his platform at KOP Productions. I was immediately filled with hope! I felt like this was an opportunity to put that "family" atmosphere back into the work I was already so passionate about. We made a plan to be in touch in the next week or so to allow me some time to get settled. Plan "B" was in full effect. Things felt like they were going to be alright.
Needless to say, things did not end up being alright.
Two days after having these hopeful conversations and coming to the conclusion that I was making the right decision, it was now time for me to do my next episode of Three Strange Women, which, oddly enough was unknowingly going to be my 100th episode. Or so I thought.... following an unfortunate turn of events, Three Strange Women was abruptly leaving the UR airwaves for good.
Like the good man he was, KOP checked up on me soon after and asked if I was ready to talk business, and I wasn't quite at a point where I was able to even process what went on yet, so I postponed the meeting. This is obviously not a conversation that we will be having now, but the fact that KOP was so ready and willing to work with me and that he believed in me and my hard work is something I will never forget. Things were so bad at the time and he was right there as a light in my darkness. That light will shine on forever.
Sometimes, life plays some cruel "jokes" on us... 2013 has been the epitome of cruel jokes.
In January, I initially lost my job at UR. I still had my show & crew, I was doing the Pride Parade Project, it was fine. Then April 1st came around and the UNregular "change" was anything but a joke. I was invited over to the new station w/ my show, was then offered a job as UR's Social Media Manager and selling advertising for commission. Everything was going great for a few months, June - August 2013 was splendid. The parade was a HUGE SUCCESS, I was finally making some money doing a job I loved, my crew of Strange Ladies was incredible - we SMASHED it every week and took the scene by storm, and my love life had even picked up quite a bit after cutting my hair. I was actually kind of happy, given the underlying sadness I felt about the recent turns of events.
At the KOP Memorial @ Mount Michael Malta <3
September would prove to be the tipping point and threshold of tolerance for several situations in my life because all of the sudden the Universe let loose with a great big defecation on my situation. Maybe I got a little too comfortable for a second, I'm not sure exactly where the problem started, but out of no where everything I knew and loved seemed to suddenly be gone and with no alternative plan in sight.
In the six-week period since the Freedom Rally, I've resigned from my job as an engineer & social media manager, abruptly lost my radio show, and even more unexpectedly lost a confidant/ business professional who offered me hope, support, and a new platform to continue doing what I love. The only thing that could have made it much worse would have been losing a best friend/lover during all of this, right?.... and that is exactly what was simultaneously happening on top of it all. I'm not even 100% sure what went wrong there, but of all the situations, I hold a little hope that there is at least the option to repair that last one over time (at least we're both still alive, right?).
As KOP says at one point in the "Rise of the King Of Pot" video, "life sucks, then you die".... I don't REALLY feel that way, but I can definitely relate to the feeling, and things are a bit difficult for me right now, to say the least. This is the first time in my adult life that I've experienced so much loss all at once. It's my first time since my teens processing everything on my own, without the haze of medications.
Life is raw right now. I think life is beautiful, even though it hurts at the moment. I was once in a place where I felt that life sucked and I wanted to die, but I came out of it, and I'm okay. I have hope, even when I have nothing else lately, because something in me tells me I need to keep going. That even if it's a small difference, I can make a difference. I can spread my message of hope and love to anyone who is willing to listen (or read) because I'm not afraid to do so. Life hasn't been the most fun ride over the last 6 weeks (or much of 2013, Parade aside), but above all else it has been as real as it gets. I'm thankful that things are slowly going to get better over time.
I would like to formally apologize to all of my friends (close and acquaintances) for having been so crazy, distant, depressed, angry, and generally not okay recently. I'm working through some pretty intense feelings these days and I'm not always the best at coping. I'm learning... things are starting to get better slowly, my craziness is beginning to subside and I hope to be back to my happy-homo Strange little self soon. I hope you still love me. I love you.
Until next time...
Love & Light
Jackie Soriano
Three Strange Women
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