Queer comes in many different shapes and sizes. One of the greatest joys of identifying with the LGBT community is getting to experience the incredible amount of diversity that can be found within it.
Jackie Soriano NoH8 campaign Photo by: Adam Bouska
"...Gender role can be an important identifying factor in any relationship, but it is not always visibly clear.... "
Of course there are your typical queer lifestyle stereotypes, ranging from the short-haired, plaid-flannel-wearing lesbians (or butch girls) to the ever glamorous, slender, occasional eyeliner-wearing gay boys (commonly referred to as twinks). However, there are also a few categories of queer that are ferquently overlooked because these individuals choose to maintain an image that would not allow them to be stereo-typically pin pointed as queer.
This brings us to the topic of UR Lesbian: LGBT Files Volume 3, Femme Invisibility.
"...As a woman interested in other women, I have always found myself most strongly attracted to other feminine girls...."
"Femme" is a term that comes from the French word for woman, and is used in the LGBT community to identify a woman as a feminine lesbian. The image I choose to maintain is more on the feminine side, and I suppose, for all intensive purposes, that I would identify myself as a femme (normally, I try to steer clear of stereotypes).
Jackie Soriano of TSW photo by: Sarah Sparks
Jackie Soriano of TSW photo by: Sarah Sparks
Gender role can be an important identifying factor in any relationship, but it is not always visibly clear.
As a woman interested in other women, I have always found myself most strongly attracted to other feminine girls. It only makes sense (to me anyway) that I would be attracted to feminine women as opposed to butch women, because I enjoy the image of a woman. The way I see it, if I wanted to be with a more masculine looking individual, I would be looking for a man.
Femmes are practically invisible in the LGBT community because the image they choose to portray happens to be the same as you would expect from most straight women. In most stereotypical lesbian relationships, its easy to tell which is the "guy" and which is the "girl" of the couple.
"...I'm not saying that all femmes should go around wearing big bright t-shirts that say 'I'M A FEMME'..."
However, this does make things more difficult when trying to meet new people, because even with exceptional gaydar, sexuality can not always be determined by looks alone. In my experiences, its harder to spot feminine lesbians out in the real world than it is to spot butch lesbians.
Think of it like this: no woman who is genuinely into other women wants to show up at a party or club and really hit it off with a girl, only to find that she's straight. Besides this being a potentially embarrassing situation for both parties involved, it also just plain sucks to be rejected by someone you're interested in. I'm not saying that all femmes should go around wearing big bright t-shirts that say "I'M A FEMME", but at this point it would be just about the only way to spot one by looks alone.
On this week's episode of Three Strange Women, we'll be joined in the studio byJincey Lumpkin Esq., sex columnist for The Huffington Post's Gay Voices and founder & CEO of Juicy Pink Box. Jincey is a femme lesbian from New York, dubbed "The Lesbian Hugh Hefner". Juicy Pink Box is a lifestyle brand that entices women to explore their lesbian fantasies. Jincey takes lesbian porn to a whole new level: classy. What's great about Juicy Pink Box is that this type of pornography is made by lesbians for lesbians. I don't care what anyone says, there is a HUGE difference between "girl on girl" porn, and real lesbian porn. What I enjoy most about Jincey's work is that is it not "dyke porn".
The women she chooses to work with are either very feminine or border the line of feminine/masculine. Another selling point for me is knowing that all of the women featured in Jincey's work are at least bisexual. In the porn industry, it is all too common to see two straight girls going at it (for a hefty sum of money I'm sure), but very rarely does the viewer see anything that would resemble a genuine lesbian interaction. Since the moment I discovered Jincey's work writing for the Huffington Post, I was captivated. I find what she is doing in both the writing scene and in the porn industry to be very important and liberating for lesbians, especially femmes. I'm honored and thrilled to be having Jincey on Three Strange Women!
-Jackie Soriano
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